Game review
Fallout las Vegas is a RPG, best played with the belief, that if you die, you die. It’s the first game I’ve played where you eat and drink to survive. An addition to I’ve been waiting for since I first began chomping on game food.I set the difficultly to max. I’m not that good at games, but in the moment I believed I’d probably be able to dodge bullets.
The game begins, I awake in a doctors office apparently after being shot in the head – I have accidentally skipped the intro, I hope it’s not important. It was. After stumbling free a pub owner trains me in the use of guns. I accidentally shoot and kill her dog while attempting to kill lizards. I refuse to restart the game. She doesn’t forgive me. In my first quest I climb up a hill to graveyard gangsters dumped me in, and then roll down the other side, I am immediately killed by scorpions. With the exception of animals I didn’t actually die very often, unless I stepped on a mine. Which I would do, almost constantly, there are too many mines in this game.
I discover slave traders exist here. I abandon all quests for my own. Risking permanently glitching the game to kill all slave traders, using my only weapons charisma, a shot-gun, and two handguns. I have many lazer guns but I do not understand how they work. Later on in the game I get one other weapon I’d regular use, a magic glove I could punch people to death with. I completely ignore the future tech.
I meet a slave-boss, a man wearing a dog hat. He was dead from the moment I saw him. I had to have that hat. I put on a disguise walked into their camp. My disguise fails. Two soldiers bring me to the boss in his home, they do not take my guns. I gulp down 20 different drugs making me functionally immortal. I shoot the boss, five men machine gunning me in the head, and Rambo my way out. If that isn’t the ideal game play I don’t know what is. (+50 points).
There are dying slaves. I need a medical skill to save them. I only have charisma and gun skills. What would I need a science for? I return later with science. The injured have died, just like in real life. (+100 points) I had no idea that would happen. I am later killed by a large wasp. I should have never went sober.
I become a cannibal, with my dog hat, spiked armour, and new funky cyborg dog. I declare myself a werewolf of the land. I’ve seen people complain the dog dies in fights, I did not have this problem. I didn’t even know the dog could die. Look after your pets better.
Before I enter Las vegas city I need money. Money I spending on drugs. I make up the last bottle caps (money) I need by finding a pub owner some prostitutes. I loose karma. I don’t understand karma. I meet my genderless spouse, a robot. I am in Las Vegas yet I can find no place to get married. They have gambling dens, strip clubs, creepy rich cannibal clubs – but no weddings? (-100 points).
A note on the strip clubs: I don’t know what I was expecting. But after hiring prostitures and err.. finding my “spouse” I thought they’d be… strip clubs? Or fully clothed strip clubs, maybe with a little more PG danceing. Instead the strip clubs are feel like a completely different game. A bad one. It a game that isn’t properly made. A huge square houses with one tiny table in the centre of the room giving it a creepy horror type of feel, but like clearly not on purpose. Like free Dad simulator games you can download on your phone. The rest of the buildings in the game were NOT like this. This problem starts right at the reception desk. Theres something so off about this that instead of feeling like your in the middle of radioactive town, you can’t see anything but the terrible graphics. Also they wouldn’t let me dance. (-80 points)
A couple of screenshots from dad simulator. A game clearly made by 1 person. If you walked into a strip club this game would suddenly change from attempted detail to this weird empty incomplete vibe.
It’s like they ran out of time making it. The main part of the most important town in the game, and it felt badly done and completely incomplete. There were a few fully clothed dancers. They made the rooms incomplete AND put clothes on the dancers? I feel like this should have been a one or the other choice. They wouldn’t even let me throw bottle caps at the dancers. (-100 points, I didn’t even want strippers but I can’t believe how badly this is designed.)
I track down the man who shot me in the head. I meet him in a pub, flirt for information. We head to his room. He gives me information, then I shoot him 57 times in the chest. Why? Did I have to? No. But he’s wearing a black and white checkered suit and I needed to get him out of view to kill him. I steal his sweet suit. It turns into a skirt. 😦 This isn’t even realistic, who thinks this is something that happens? I’ll kill the designers for this. (-100 points). Furious I abandon the “suit” and corpse. I lose karma.
I was led to believe Mr House was the villain of the fallout world, who I have just googled, was apparently not the villain. Not the impression I got. I buy grenades and backed by a funky cyborg dog I my new friend Elvis not Presley is going to let me keep, I storm the building. To have a polite chat with several robots and ‘ Dr House’.
He is peaceful, I sell what I can, and destroy his robot guards. I find Dr House’s body in a test tube, and kill him. My quest pointer is no longer telling me what to do. I do not know what to do. I reload the game, I will kill him later after I discover what his evil plan is. I find the final slave boss . I get caught in my disguise as I try to infiltrate the town, I am brought straight to him. I shoot him, and everyone else, snacking on corpses as I make my way out of slave city, because I’m still a werewolf. Also I eat some of the slaves I was trying to save, I don’t know why they started attacking me. I return to ‘Dr House’ and kill him.
The end quest has a war. Before the battle begins I find an old poster of the dog slave trader man I killed. I realise he was a boss. I am dressed like him. This is a game where wearing someone else clothes ‘disguises’ you as being from that group. No one seems to have a problem with me. I do not understand how the disguises in this game work. Possibly why I keep getting captured by people.
I was disappointed by the lack of people riding mutant cows in the final battle. The war was narrowed down to one long bridge. It’s lazy. Oblivion and Skyrim are much better at wars, even though it looks silly because it’s like, 8 people vs 8 people. At the end there’s multiple choices. I chose to throw a man off the bridge. I discover this game has end credits. They say I’ve doomed humanity.
General gameplay Rating:
Rating after minus points:
I don’t want to wear a skirt! Who did this! Who did this! Do you have any idea how funky I’d look in that suit – NO HEELS – with my cyborg dog? You’re ruining my vibe!
Recommended play: during a heatwave with the volume of your in game radio loud enough to receive noise complaints.
Suoa 